Archive for the ‘In my head’ Category
Conformity!
Posted April 28, 2011
on:- In: In my head
- 6 Comments
I came across a blog today. It was about a book, The giver, I have never read this book, but the person shared what the basis of it was. About conforming, and if you had the option to show people other ways of living would you, or just keep them blind. There was then a discussion forum. It really made me think…..
I think we already live in a world very close to that. I think alot of people are extreme conformists! But the silly thing is that they once changed from what was the normal to what we do today, and are afraid to go back. The world then uses tv to scare them not to change, or magazines. In my example….homebirths. A woman used to birth in their home with the village around her for support, and a midwife. The village would then bring her dinners and help her through her healing. However, now we all know the hospital is considered the normal, and most wont even open their mind and close their mouth long enough to even consider. How did we ever steer away in the first place? On top of that, the rise in homebirths has caused a stir. There was a article that someone dear to me called me worried about. A homebirth in which a mom developed a infection and ended up getting limbs amputated. While I listened, and assured them I was no more worried than if I did a hospital birth, I snickered. Nosocomial infections…most of us know of, and its even taught in nursing school, are common! And some with the same or worse or not as bad outcomes. So right next to that could be a million articles about the same things happening in the hospitals! Its all about marketing. And when there is a trend happening that is starting to worry people trying to keep things the conformed way they have become, they pull out anything to try and scare people back into their pen. Just like the Hillary Duff episode of Law & Order. They used a celebrity, in which most new moms today grew up watching, to draw attention to the episode, took a truly tragic real life story and twisted it around to scare people about vaccinations. But the child in the story who “spread” the measels could have been a vaccinated child as well! Its all pretty silly. Dear god people, if you take one thing from me…don’t conform, educate. Do what you want, know your options, and know the real, full truth about everything! Make informed choices, not just the ones a pediatrician said was right, because they grew up the same way. Look into things yourself and then decide.
Reflections
Posted April 8, 2011
on:- In: In my head
- 2 Comments
I layed in the bottom of my bathtub trying to fit the both of us comfortably. The only way was quite ironic, I found myself leaned back with my knees up…for those of you who cant picture what Im saying…I was in the basic lying down position that most associate with labor. I giggled to myself, and I think the baby understood we were having a moment as it traced its little leg across my stomach. I am just about 4 weeks away from D-Day. Delivery day 🙂 I, like anyone else, am nervous, excited, anxious…and all the feelings that go along with it, even though I have already had a child, no two births or babies are alike. I have fear again about the “unknown” of how this one will feel, how this one will go. I refuse to believe it will be the same, however I do have hopes it will follow very closely. My son was quite a simple birth, not too much pain, still enough to make me think if this was a all day affair no way could I do this naturally. I even said to my midwife at one point that “I couldn’t do this”..In the sense of all day! Her reply was “Honey your already doing it” She then would squeeze back onto my hand while I squeezed hers to get through the next contraction. I was in a tub then as well… About 2 1/2 hours after I arrived at the hospital, in a sense of “really..already time to push” I was pushing out my son. I remember only being on the bed for about 30 mins or so and he was being lifted on to my chest. All 9lbs 6.5 oz of him. It was a amazing day. My favorite, I turned to my husband instantly who was standing by my head staring in awe and amazement and I just simply said “I love you!” So today, as I layed in my own tub, rubbing my watermelon belly with the shower raining down on us, I thought of that day. I was trying to picture what it would look like the exact moment I lift my baby out of the water and pull them close to my chest. I reflected on how Sebastian looked, of course gray, with big eyes and a nice size head. Little nose, little arms, and I put my hand right over his little butt and just held him close. I will get to feel that all again soon. I don’t know if it was hormones but at that moment I had to sing, I sang to my new little bean “silent night” I always found it comforting and use it to sing to my son when he’s being fussy about nap time. I got choked up. I for one don’t have a good voice, but it was even soothing to me to be singing that song and hearing it along with the patter of the water on my skin, the kicking and stretching of the baby that layed nuzzled close to my heart in my belly, and it just made me feel ready. I wanted to meet this baby right then. I wanted to hold them in my arms and kiss their little forehead. I imagined what Sebs face would be when he gets to finally see the baby that over the past few months has taken so much of my lap room! As I sat there in my haze of past and future, I realized that its going to be two completely different experiences. For one my son I gave birth to in a hospital, and ultimately delivered on the bed. This baby is going to be my first homebirth, and will most likely be a waterbirth. However, I realized that the feelings I had going into my first birth I still have for this one as well, and I most likely will have the same feeling of unbelievability, accomplishment, happyness, love, closeness and all the emotions that come with giving birth. It then struck me, that in just 4 short weeks that previously seemed forever away, I will be reflecting back again, at that moment when baby number 2 entered this world. And then again at each birthday party, I will reflect. I then got out of the tub, and walked past my mirror and stopped and stared at the reflection in it and smiled. Who knew that a simple bathroom could be the portal to your inner thoughts and feelings, and ironically on my walk out it reminded me with that reflection of my own face, to come back anytime I want to reflect.
Mind blurt!
Posted March 21, 2011
on:- In: In my head
- 4 Comments
I don’t really think people understand. I am so serious when I say “My husband makes me a better person”. Just tonight we were laying in bed and we talked about how our little peanut is like a jack. He likes to lay between us in bed and slowly throughout the night will turn sideways and spread out pushing us further apart. We had a giggle together at the thought of how this little person takes up the WHOLE bed. He then goes, “its your fault” Not that we mind in the least that he sleeps in our bed, we actually go get him out of his bed and make him sleep with us sometimes, because as much of a comfort it is for him, it is for us as well. But I had to correct my husband. The truth is, its his fault. Sebastian is used to sleeping with us due to the fact that the first straight year of his life he slept in our bed with us. I nursed him, and never forced him to night ween so even at night he would still nurse. So naturally its his comfort zone to still come in our bed and snuggle with his mom the same way he did all his life.