Pure Existence

Mind blurt!

Posted on: March 21, 2011

I don’t really think people understand. I am so serious when I say “My husband makes me a better person”. Just tonight we were laying in bed and we talked about how our little peanut is like a jack. He likes to lay between us in bed and slowly throughout the night will turn sideways and spread out pushing us further apart. We had a giggle together at the thought of how this little person takes up the WHOLE bed. He then goes, “its your fault” Not that we mind in the least that he sleeps in our bed, we actually go get him out of his bed and make him sleep with us sometimes, because as much of a comfort it is for him, it is for us as well. But I had to correct my husband. The truth is, its his fault. Sebastian is used to sleeping with us due to the fact that the first straight year of his life he slept in our bed with us. I nursed him, and never forced him to night ween so even at night he would still nurse. So naturally its his comfort zone to still come in our bed and snuggle with his mom the same way he did all his life.

                So where am I going with this? I look at the way I do things now, and the person I am, the mom I have become, and I smile, because if it weren’t Cody standing beside me, I would not even think to nurse, to be more natural in life’s experiences. I talk to people all the time who ask me where I’m delivering my baby…I tell them at home. Almost every response is “aren’t you scared, I would be.” So I in turn ask them, well where are you delivering, and I get the usual response of some hospital with some doctor or midwife that they chose to go to that worked at that hospital. Well, in my experience, its not the four walls around you who is going to encourage you, hold your hand (not that most doctors care to either), and ultimately put your baby on your chest and congratulate you! Its the midwife, or whom ever you decide to catch your baby. My trust is in my amazing midwife Kelly McDermott. Whether I delivered home, hospital, car, or god forbid on the ground outside, I fully trust her. I delivered my son at a hospital, and the hospital aspect is what made it less of a experience for me, but the hospital was chosen based on my midwife, and where she delivered. Now my midwife does home births, which is like heaven to my ears. Who doesn’t want to be in their own comfortable bed, with their own yummy food, and be able to say when visiting hours are over? With the added bonus of not having some person come and tell you that its time for your baby to do this and that, and then they cart them away, and act annoyed when you tag along! The other phrase that floors me is “are you using the drugs?” or “oh yeah I’m deff getting the drugs” …what…that phrase gets me everytime. Now why on earth would someone not see something wrong with that. It honestly makes me feel like some pot dealer will be in the room with me, or some sketchy person with a coat full of “the hook up”. Its just odd sounding. But if my husband never said he didn’t want me to take any, I probably would have done what alot of people do,
 birth = epidural. They don’t even know if its going to be too much for them, they just assume from everyone else its going to be needed. I hate when people right off tell a new mom “your going to want the epidural” or “drugs are your friend”…Everyone is different, most people who get the epidural out of fear, or used to hearing everyone else got it, probably could have done it without. I have a very small pain threshold, I’ve never had stitches, broke a bone, or anything serious…a paper cut and I cry for days about it. I didn’t take the “drugs” and my son was a hefty guy and I’m only 5’2 pushing out a big headed 9lb 6.5 oz first timer baby! I felt so powerful doing this, I’m proud of that. It goes in the book of my life accomplishments!

              However, if it weren’t for Cody, I probably would fall victim to the same routine as everyone else, without even a thought weather there were other options. I would not even think to breastfeed, I would just assume formula was what was best for us, and not even look into anything else. I would have forced my baby into a crib at a early age, because its what everyone else does, they don’t co-sleep. I would just shove this and that into my son, just because its what goes on around me, cause it would be all I know. I will say this alot…EDUCATION is the key. It really is. I listen and absorb a lot that goes on around me, I spend days googling and reading articles and watching clips on all sorts of different things. It helps me make better choices for myself and my family and what does work for us. Cody grew up very different from me..when I think of his life its like something out of like Little house, or some old movie. At first, I thought his family and their ways of doing things was weird. I now find myself doing a lot…not all…but a lot of the things that I once looked at as odd. They were very natural, bought odd pure ingredients, and used more natural approach to health care. Holistic is the word.  Not everything works for everyone, but I’m so glad that I ended up with my husband because I feel like I care more about things that some people don’t even second guess if that would be what they would choose if they knew a different route to take. I think of life as a gps…sometimes it shows me routes I never knew about, and other times I see which routes its takes to get to a destination I already know how to get to, just to see if it works better, or is faster. Or  I take the route I know would work better for me. We can hear advice, but we don’t always have to take it, but we should atleast consider it, because maybe its something we would prefer.
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4 Responses to "Mind blurt!"

>It's hard because people are not as supportive of home births, natural birth, organic eating and breastfeeding. If we were to have another baby I would DEFINITELY do a home birth!! Can't wait to hear about your birth!

>When I come across a person who is doing a homebirth, only other person is my sister in law, whom referred me to the midwife I use, or a person on my midwife's facebook page, I am surprised, because it is not common, and it scares people to not "go with the flow" Insurance companies are the worst at being supportive…it angers me!

>I think having a home birth sounds more normal. Most people don't get the choice. If I had the choice I would want a home birth for all the same reasons. The people you trust most around you. Them supporting you through everything. And most importantly, you feel in control. It's my house and what I say goes. Being out of control is where the scary part comes in. If you need the equipment from a hospital then by all means. But I suspect most births go as planned. And hey back in the "ole days" the doctor came to your house to deliver your baby. Everything is all set up for the little one. You don't have to worry about transporting the little one home the next day. When a women feels in control she is happy and less stressed, and surrounded by the people she loves and who loves her. Could anyone ask to be born in a better environment. Heather I love the fact that you are a strong none conformist!

Cody is a great guy, I am truly grateful that you two found each other. I suddenly find myself missing him…lol.

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